Through the magical power of Google, I get an email anytime anything is posted to a blog (or most news sources) with the words "Houston" or "Texans" in the body. I, for one, welcome our new Google overlords.

Anyway... I received one of these emails yesterday and it pointed me to the blog "Stampede Blue," where something called "BigBlueShoe" was opining on the Texans' upcoming season. Normally, such a thing would not inspire more than a comment or two. The smugness and overall idiocy of this post, however, requires actual fisking. (Yes, I realize that most of this is just a rehashing of the same stuff I've been writing about for two months. Whatever. The post bugged me.)

Let's do this.

The Texans acquired Schaub in the trade with Atlanta, gave him a nice new contract, and then kicked their former-franchise QB, and #1 overall pick in 2002, David Carr to the curb. I know Texans fans are tired of hearing this, but sometimes the truth hurts: David Carr is a fine QB, and Matt Schaub is not an upgrade over Carr.

Oh, really? And what, pray tell, are you basing this on? I mean, if you are going to put it in bold letters, you must really have some insight into why Schaub is no better. In fact, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt for a second and let you make that argument.

Yes, I agree with Trent Dilfer. Call me crazy. Call me silly. Call me Al.

How about I call you "dumb?" Would that work? After all, that's what we all called Trent Dilfer when he made the original statement that you agree with. Oh, by the way, you still have not shown me why Schaub is not an upgrade. Maybe in the next sentence...

I've watched several Texans games, and every time I've watched I've marveled at just how well Carr played despite the fact that his coaches were morons and his offensive line couldn't block Rose O'Donnell and the cast of The View if they were in pads (scary thought).

You mean the line that had a lower sack percentage (despite Carr's reluctance to get rid of the ball before properly observing every option at least four times) than teams like the Seahawks, Falcons, Steelers, etc? That line? Hold on... did you just use "several" in reference to games in which you "marveled" at how well Carr played? Where did you set the bar for playing well? By that standard, Cleo Lemon is poised to blow your freakin' mind this season.

(A quick primer, Mr. Shoe. The way it works generally is that you make a statement--say "Carr is better than Schaub"--and then you back it up with some supporting evidence. Please note, however, that "supporting evidence" does not include conjecture and some first-hand, hyperbole-riddled "evidence" that is completely unverifiable.)

Like all skill positions, QBs must have talent around them to grow and succeed. Carr never had that. Hell, he didn't even have decent talent. It was all pretty much just suck-a-rific bad.

Last season, behind a much-improved line and throwing to Andre Johnson and Eric Moulds (who, admittedly, didn't pan out, though a lot of that was due to Carr as well), Carr was not demonstrably better than he had been in the previous seasons. Sure, the lack of a running game was painful, but just as painful was the way Carr played. By the end of the year, the coaches were asking Dave just to get rid of the ball on short routes and stop playing like he'd recently had a lobotomy. Hell, one can make the argument that even Sage Rosenfels would have been an upgrade over Carr by the end of last year. No, he never had a team reminiscent of the Pats or Colts around him, but he did show an inability to utilize the players who were there.

Peyton Manning would not be the football god he is today without having Tarik Glenn as his left tackle, Marvin Harrison as his WR, and Tom Moore as his offensive coordinator for his entire career. Glenn and Harrison are HoFers. Moore is the best OC in football, and has been for many years. Manning also had the luxury of having guys like C Jeff Saturday, WR Reggie Wayne, TE Marcus Pollard, and RB Edgerrin James for most of his career. David Carr never had those things, and Matt Schaub doesn't have them now.

You left out "Reche Caldwell choking worse than Dirk Diggler's girlfriend" and "Rex Grossman turning in a performance that was slightly more painful to watch than your own grandma in a trucker gangbang" as things that helped Manning achieve "god" status. All joking aside, I think we all agree that Schaub does not have the 2006 Colts around him. Which is why no one is picking the Texans as a Super Bowl contender. Then again, you could also argue that Manning's preparation and ability and whatnot made all of those guys seem better than they might have been without him; it cuts both ways, you see.

Of course, you still have not acknowledged that the Texans line is nowhere near as bad as you make it out to be, that Andre Johnson is amazingly good, that Schaub has a much quicker release than Carr, etc. No need to let silly old facts get in the way of a good screed, I guess

Schaub is living off a reputation built up by his performance in one game which he lost. Schaub's 3 TD performance against a decimated Patriots team is pretty much all Schaub has done in his three seasons in the NFL. Other than that, Schaub ain't done squat. And the sad part is, this STILL makes him better than Vick.

Maybe that is what made Schaub that #1 number two QB in the league over the past couple years. So what? That does not prove that he is not a better QB than Carr. And, for the record, since coming to the Texans, Schaub has also built a reputation of being a great teammate, a hardworker, and more impressive in workouts than DC ever was. So, if you want to completely throw out any carryover reputation from the Pats game, I would still take Schaub based on what he's shown since coming to Houston.

All that said, Schaub might work out as an improvement just because he's a new face, a symbol that times are changing. Yes, that is indeed pathetic, but what else can you say for a franchise that has never won more than 8 games in one season.

Wait... wha? Let me see if I follow your "argument" so far: Carr is better than Schaub because David impressed you on television "several" times, despite not being the Colts' QB. Schaub is a turd because he threw three TDs against the Pats, but his team lost. Ergo, Schaub might work out simply because he's a new face? Huh? (As for what else can you say about the franchise, how about "they swept the Jags last year and beat the Colts once, so there is reason to think that an upgrade at QB and a healthy line could make them a 9-7 team with a little luck?"

Schaub is throwing to the same over-rated group of receivers Carr did.

A. No, he's not. Other than Johnson, of course. B. I thought you said they were suck-a-riffically bad. How can you be awful, be called awful, and then simultaneously be overrated? Are you saying they are actually worse than awful?

His offensive line is still bad.

Well, it was better than a number of teams last year, it is finally healthy as a unit (even with Spencer still banged up), and it has a QB behind it now that doesn't turn into a deer in the headlights in the face of a linebacker.

Like Carr, Schaub will likely not have a consistent running game. Free agent acquisition Ahman Green is done, and it's obvious.

Man, you are just full of baseless assertions today, aren't you? How is it "obvious" that Batman is done? By the 266 carries, 1059 yards, and 5 TDs he had last year?

So, unless they can get some talent around him, Schaub is doomed to the same fate Carr was.

Umm... I thought you just said that Schaub might work out because he has a different face. Which is it? And, considering your premise is faulty (that there is "no" talent around Schaub), shouldn't we also assume that you conclusion is wrong? I vote yes.

If someone sees where in this post the author made a solid argument, based upon demonstrable evidence, that Schaub will not be better than Carr, would you please point it out. At best, I find him rehashing the same tired assumptions about the Texans, interspersed with some random assertions that he does not (or cannot) back up.

Finally, Shoe ends the piece with a line about how Carr might overtake Delhomme in Carolina before the two teams meet. All I can say is I hope so.

Labels: Andre Johnson, Batman, Broken Record, David Carr has Post-Concussion Syndrome, Gary Kubiak, Offensive (punch)Line, Preview, Teams that aren't the Texans, The Schaub Experiment

Posted by matt on Friday, June 22, 2007 at 10:11 AM | Permalink