A Texans blog.An Open Letter (from bigfatdrunk) to John McClain
Ed. note: It's no secret that I have an active dislike for the Houston Chronicle and, even more specifically, for the trite drivel spewed by most of their sportswriters. Lest ye think I am alone in my disdain, I present the following letter from BFD to John McClain, as first posted at BRB.
Dear Mr. McClain,
As I intimated recently, the Jurassic media, such as the Houston Comicle, jumped the shark many years ago. As if to prove my point with a flourish, you publish this absolute turd of an article.
Forgetting such basic math concepts such as prior performance is no guarantee of future performance or that as variables (aka players, coaches, your BAC) change, the outcome will change, I will again pound on a theme that has become blatantly obvious to any reader with an education level north of Richard Justice, or about the 4th grade.
You, Mr. McClain, hate the Texans. Whether it's the unrequited love syndrome that so affects Justice due to his man-crush on Vince Young, or whether you seem to enjoy inflicting Solomon-esque pain, I am not quite sure. Perhaps, it's a little of both? Or am I missing something?
Now, I'm sure your defense will be, "But I mentioned they are .500! Don't you read? Or do you just read what you want to read?" To answer your questions, yes I read. And, yes, I read what I want to read. You, dear sir, do not fall into the "want to read" category. As for yet another back-handed compliment, we'll just place that one in the Mario file.
If you are the General, you are the modern-day equivalent of Ambrose Burnside. And with a leader like you, who needs the bleach?
The overall lack of objectivity toward the Texans is incredibly reprehensible, but even when given the opportunity to play a bit of a hometown fan-boy, you showed your true colors. How could, and why should, anyone consider the Houston Chronicle sports section a reliable source of information when you and your cohorts have exhibited such unmitigated and non-negotiable hatred of the Houston Texans?
Your BFF,
XOXOXOXOX,
bigfatdrunk
PS: I'm sure you'll take full credit for being incredibly right, all the time, once the bandwagon starts chugging.
Dear Mr. McClain,
As I intimated recently, the Jurassic media, such as the Houston Comicle, jumped the shark many years ago. As if to prove my point with a flourish, you publish this absolute turd of an article.
Forgetting such basic math concepts such as prior performance is no guarantee of future performance or that as variables (aka players, coaches, your BAC) change, the outcome will change, I will again pound on a theme that has become blatantly obvious to any reader with an education level north of Richard Justice, or about the 4th grade.
You, Mr. McClain, hate the Texans. Whether it's the unrequited love syndrome that so affects Justice due to his man-crush on Vince Young, or whether you seem to enjoy inflicting Solomon-esque pain, I am not quite sure. Perhaps, it's a little of both? Or am I missing something?
Now, I'm sure your defense will be, "But I mentioned they are .500! Don't you read? Or do you just read what you want to read?" To answer your questions, yes I read. And, yes, I read what I want to read. You, dear sir, do not fall into the "want to read" category. As for yet another back-handed compliment, we'll just place that one in the Mario file.
If you are the General, you are the modern-day equivalent of Ambrose Burnside. And with a leader like you, who needs the bleach?
The overall lack of objectivity toward the Texans is incredibly reprehensible, but even when given the opportunity to play a bit of a hometown fan-boy, you showed your true colors. How could, and why should, anyone consider the Houston Chronicle sports section a reliable source of information when you and your cohorts have exhibited such unmitigated and non-negotiable hatred of the Houston Texans?
Your BFF,
XOXOXOXOX,
bigfatdrunk
PS: I'm sure you'll take full credit for being incredibly right, all the time, once the bandwagon starts chugging.
Labels: Houston Chronicle, McTard, Megan Manfull is retarded, Open Letters, Richard Justice is a no-talent assclown, Suck it bitchez
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